Elements of Romance . . .
May. 12th, 2002 03:17 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ceagleI want to start by giving a thanks to the many friends and individuals who take the time and give the effort to post their thoughts and ruminations in these journals. They are a constant inspiration to so very many. Nothing else online really compares to the candid, caring contemplations, that bring us so much closer to understanding each other and ourselves, in so many ways, and I want to thank you all for your gifts, and welcoming us to share them with you.
This entry is to share some of my personal experiences, in hopes of giving inspiration to some also, especially those who have questions about togetherness, relationships, and love. I don't know every corner of the subject for sure, but I can share what I have seen.
Love is a timeless, ever-mystifying thing, yet ever-intriguing. I have some friends who are hopeful, and some who are doubtful of it. One even tells me that he thinks it doesn't exist anywhere except storybooks, and that it is nothing more than some primitive drive that even causes us to give it a name. Sometimes I wonder how much he might be right.
But I know he is less right than he is wrong about love.. for I have seen it. Some might indeed be trapped in shallow beliefs about love, going through motions, never opening to its fullest potential. Yes, may be rare to become so strong and deep, but still it can be so much more than mere lust, as this friend fears it to be.. for it really can stir every romantic inclination one can imagine, and be just as beautiful.
There once was a time I thought I'd be married by age 29 :) When this didn't happen, I began to despair somewhat, and began to look even more fervently. Since I didn't really date all that often, I tried to pick up the pace a bit. I met some really nice people too, but most were a nice chat, just seeing if we felt right for more. A nice chat didn't solve this marriage problem though, so I still was feeling rather alone. All my life, it seemed like music was the only loving thing.. a good song.. eyes closed.. and just dreaming.
Then, not too much later, a most wondrous thing happened.. a spark began to glow one night, in the eyes of my childhood sweetheart. We had been friends since I was about 7 years old, but we had never gotten to date, even in high school, since she always seemed to have something else to do.. but now, the magic had begun.
So very beautiful... it truly does lift you off your toes. So many wonderful dreams, now real... so many extraordinary journeys together... looking into each other's eyes... seeing each other in a whole new light... minds and hearts, meeting, knowing, loving...
I know that romance can become real, and live.. we had so many magical experiences to prove it..
Once we ran through fields of tall grass, just basking in the nature and togetherness.. bonding.. blissful.. as if in a picture postcard...
Once she took me to a special beach, au naturale, where we just held each other until the day became dusk, and we became warmer than the sun..
Once we embraced on the highest building we could find, letting the wind wrap us as stars grew brighter above..
Once we decided to take a midnight walk on a sandy beach, and we got caught in a warm tropical rain, ..so we found shelter underneath a palm tree, with only the moon and tiki torches revealing us to the night, so sweet, in each other's arms...
And that first time, when I turned around and found a trail of candles leading me to her, caring and caressing, for the very first time..
I knew it wasn't just a storybook then.
I know this beauty can last too, for I saw it in my grandparent's lives. Alas, it was not to be in this one for me.. for the one thing that I could never conquer, was her doubt that all this beauty was real, and could indeed last.
That is why I tell all my friend's who will hear, to release doubt, and trust the words of your mate more than the words that might haunt one's mind, and believe. For if we can't believe, then it truly does become just going through the motions, and worthless, without true love to support, sustain and endure.
I have learned a few things here and there with each relationship too. Love and relationship are separate; one is natural, one is work. The relationship is necessary though, to let love work within the boundaries and restrictions of real life. It can be a good kind of work though, when there is mutual respect and devotion. I have also learned that people need to learn their best matches, and/or work to be better matches, sincerely, and that my best match is someone who can smile with just a thought of their mate, no matter what, because their wisdom of *love* knows that it transcends all time and space, and they do not forget the legacy that has built their love.
I've also learned that friends are life's greatest human gift. This does a world of good to relieve feelings of emptiness, because I've learned that just having a mate isn't the goal, but to have a friend is. Thus, if one of those friend's just turns out to become that wonderful mate, that is an added blessing.. but entering into a friendship is a blessing in itself.
It is also important to realize, that it is not as bad to be lonely and alone, than it is to be alone and feeling helpless.. with someone who isn't the one.
So I truly want my friends to know, don't be afraid of an occasional teardrop. It just lets you know that you haven't lost your heart and soul. Love *can* be real..
I am slowly but surely making a welcome place for it in my life again, for I know it can be real, even though the hard times or a tough experience can make it seem as if it doesn't exist.. for a while..
But love does live on.
I feel it through my friends.
Keep believing, all of you.. and the magic will continue to become stronger and stronger.. so that love can find all of those who are thus connected, in this belief and trust.. that it is truly real.
This entry is to share some of my personal experiences, in hopes of giving inspiration to some also, especially those who have questions about togetherness, relationships, and love. I don't know every corner of the subject for sure, but I can share what I have seen.
Love is a timeless, ever-mystifying thing, yet ever-intriguing. I have some friends who are hopeful, and some who are doubtful of it. One even tells me that he thinks it doesn't exist anywhere except storybooks, and that it is nothing more than some primitive drive that even causes us to give it a name. Sometimes I wonder how much he might be right.
But I know he is less right than he is wrong about love.. for I have seen it. Some might indeed be trapped in shallow beliefs about love, going through motions, never opening to its fullest potential. Yes, may be rare to become so strong and deep, but still it can be so much more than mere lust, as this friend fears it to be.. for it really can stir every romantic inclination one can imagine, and be just as beautiful.
There once was a time I thought I'd be married by age 29 :) When this didn't happen, I began to despair somewhat, and began to look even more fervently. Since I didn't really date all that often, I tried to pick up the pace a bit. I met some really nice people too, but most were a nice chat, just seeing if we felt right for more. A nice chat didn't solve this marriage problem though, so I still was feeling rather alone. All my life, it seemed like music was the only loving thing.. a good song.. eyes closed.. and just dreaming.
Then, not too much later, a most wondrous thing happened.. a spark began to glow one night, in the eyes of my childhood sweetheart. We had been friends since I was about 7 years old, but we had never gotten to date, even in high school, since she always seemed to have something else to do.. but now, the magic had begun.
So very beautiful... it truly does lift you off your toes. So many wonderful dreams, now real... so many extraordinary journeys together... looking into each other's eyes... seeing each other in a whole new light... minds and hearts, meeting, knowing, loving...
I know that romance can become real, and live.. we had so many magical experiences to prove it..
Once we ran through fields of tall grass, just basking in the nature and togetherness.. bonding.. blissful.. as if in a picture postcard...
Once she took me to a special beach, au naturale, where we just held each other until the day became dusk, and we became warmer than the sun..
Once we embraced on the highest building we could find, letting the wind wrap us as stars grew brighter above..
Once we decided to take a midnight walk on a sandy beach, and we got caught in a warm tropical rain, ..so we found shelter underneath a palm tree, with only the moon and tiki torches revealing us to the night, so sweet, in each other's arms...
And that first time, when I turned around and found a trail of candles leading me to her, caring and caressing, for the very first time..
I knew it wasn't just a storybook then.
I know this beauty can last too, for I saw it in my grandparent's lives. Alas, it was not to be in this one for me.. for the one thing that I could never conquer, was her doubt that all this beauty was real, and could indeed last.
That is why I tell all my friend's who will hear, to release doubt, and trust the words of your mate more than the words that might haunt one's mind, and believe. For if we can't believe, then it truly does become just going through the motions, and worthless, without true love to support, sustain and endure.
I have learned a few things here and there with each relationship too. Love and relationship are separate; one is natural, one is work. The relationship is necessary though, to let love work within the boundaries and restrictions of real life. It can be a good kind of work though, when there is mutual respect and devotion. I have also learned that people need to learn their best matches, and/or work to be better matches, sincerely, and that my best match is someone who can smile with just a thought of their mate, no matter what, because their wisdom of *love* knows that it transcends all time and space, and they do not forget the legacy that has built their love.
I've also learned that friends are life's greatest human gift. This does a world of good to relieve feelings of emptiness, because I've learned that just having a mate isn't the goal, but to have a friend is. Thus, if one of those friend's just turns out to become that wonderful mate, that is an added blessing.. but entering into a friendship is a blessing in itself.
It is also important to realize, that it is not as bad to be lonely and alone, than it is to be alone and feeling helpless.. with someone who isn't the one.
So I truly want my friends to know, don't be afraid of an occasional teardrop. It just lets you know that you haven't lost your heart and soul. Love *can* be real..
I am slowly but surely making a welcome place for it in my life again, for I know it can be real, even though the hard times or a tough experience can make it seem as if it doesn't exist.. for a while..
But love does live on.
I feel it through my friends.
Keep believing, all of you.. and the magic will continue to become stronger and stronger.. so that love can find all of those who are thus connected, in this belief and trust.. that it is truly real.
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no subject
Date: 2002-05-13 05:16 pm (UTC)Emails have always been my special way to open up to my close and long-time outstanding dear friends. I preferred email conversation and discussion over Internet Mucks and IRC because you can be very personal in your letters, and spend the 1-2 hours in preparing your document to be read by somebody else. Real-time chat has its own place, and it’s lovely to pass the time to converse with someone meaningful and share wonderful experiences. I love email because you can pour your heart out with thoughtful consideration, and not have the time pressure to express your feelings in a 2-minute response time. *soft smile*
We've talked a lot about our thoughts and feelings on love and relationship, marriage and finding that special person. I'm happy to have read your thoughts and I concur with you about how important friendships are in this world. Finding someone you love is important, but it shouldn't be to the exclusion of your friendships. My brother has discovered this early on in his years, when he would watch his male friends be caught up in the excitement and the romance of a young lady, and experience a friendship withdrawal away from the person he had grown up with for the past five or seven years.
Lanakila spreads his wings around your body carefully, and offers you a warm and heart-felt feathery eagle winged snuggle. He nuzzles his beak into your plumage and ki ki's with friendship.
Thanks again for posting your thoughts and feelings online. It’s very special to read your warm and caring words of inspiration and hope. And while I don't have any experience in the realm of love and the affairs of the heart (in a man-woman relationship sense), I still hold out my hope, yearning to find someone who could make my life feel whole and complete. *snugs*
In the meantime, I will continue to indulge my friends with all that I do, and care about them as intimately and passionately as I have always done.
Take care, dear eagle! I hope our flight paths do cross again! You have been missed, and I look forward to perching online FeatherMuck in hopes of catching your regal flying form once more!
Lanakila cooos softly and wingsnugglehugs C Eagle tightly!