.

[ceagle]

sad entry.. do not read if you don't want to be sad...

We may lose our kitty today.
We just had our consultation with the vet. Kitty has been starting to lose kidney function for a few months, and for the last few days he hasn't really made any sounds.. just listless, frail, wanting to eat and drink, but having great difficulty with more than just a few licks.. getting dehydrated and hungry..
The doctor spoke with heavy heart, noting that she felt we really are just about out of options, since he's almost 19, has diabetes, and is therefore not a good candidate for a kidney transplant.
This cat has bounced back so many times.. from episodes with too high sugar, to situations with too low, and even a seizure a few months ago.

Most of you also love animals, and even though this wasn't a lap cat, he was a member of the family, and perhaps had the strongest bond of any cat to my mom.. because he needed her so much.

It's been so long.. when time passes a while between occurrences like this, being there again really crystallizes the feelings known before, or spoken of by others we know. And the strongest part isn't necessarily when now he leaves physically.. but wanting the former, happier cat back, and the moment of realization that this will never happen. That's when it's hard to maintain a front, or a smile. I know that many of you have gone through this...
altonwings,
neverwench,
birdsput,
telbert,
furtech,
desertcoyote,
pawpad,
_graywolf_,
ekevu
and torakiyoshi most recently,

and dingybatty,
genecatlow,
kevinjdog,
rum_pirate_sc,
paranoidpanther,
space_wolf and martes,
calicougar and mistahbojangles
not too long ago... and too many others of you to even name properly...

- - -

We always have said we wanted to let him continue as long as he had quality of life, but not if he is uncomfortably suffering. If it's gotten to that, the hardest call has come.

He's at the doctor's now... getting some more fluids and nutrients.. just in hopes of giving him comfort, maybe even the slimmest hope he'll bounce back, ...until we return there later, to make the ultimate decision.

- - -

It may seem small, since it's not a human spoken of ... and so many of us have lost friends and family ... I know you've probably been through greater loss to some extent. I still wish you hugs and empathetic tidings in having to cope with your own tragedies.. for with all the goodness we thankfully get to experience, there sometimes comes a departure from the positive pathways, leading us into detours of undesired, yet necessary and somber, reflection and introspection..

- - -

we probably will hold off on getting another kitty for a little while..

Comments

[ex-reiji.livejournal.com]

i am really sorry to hear about this, hon :( losing a pet is one of the worst things in the world, it really is losing a family member.

my best wishes to you and your family...

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

thank you so very much... *hughugzez*

it's a hard decision to make....

[mammallamadevil.livejournal.com]

and it's NOT small as far as I'm concerned, it's losing a member of the family...will think good thoughts for you and your mom..

MLD

Re: it's a hard decision to make....

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

thank you so very much.. *peep*... mom's still havin' even more of a tuff time.. I think it was like caring for an infant for her... one that never had to grow up.. but somehow still... couldn't live forever.. :|

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

It's never easy. *hugs*

-TG

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

thank you, fellow.. -_-
I guess it's better to have had all the good times, than to never had them at all..

[furtech.livejournal.com]

Sad-to-wrenching-- my best wishes to your mom and your cat (what's his name?). Never worry about grieving over something you loved. Always feel free to share or express that grief as well.

If the current treatment helps him to bounce back a little, and you may need to give him fluids intravenously you should know that-- while it sounds complicated-- the procedure isn't that hard. My friend Elayne has been giving her 16 yr old cat water every 2-3 days for the last two years and the cat is happy and normal (well, as normal as that cat ever was). Elayne still travels and goes to cons, etc. and house-sitters have taken over (so it won't take over your life). -I've- even learned to do this (so you know it can't be that hard).

At 19, his kidneys (heck, all of him) may just be worn out and it just may be his time, so be prepared for this inevitability as well. As you say, making his last moments comfortable is the parting gift you can give him. take care

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

That's very encouraging, thank you.. I'll at least mention it to the doctor momentarily..

[lazalanti.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* It's hard loosing a family member no matter what their relation may be. ;__;

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

thank you so much.. *hugs back*.....

[panthras.livejournal.com]

*awwwws and cuddles* we lost a kitty a couple of months back, prayers and hugs being sent your way right now :(

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

*hugs muchly, and appreciatively wingpats..*

[pawpad.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry, C. :( Our Mr.Bun recently went through kidney failure, it was so hard (he pulled through but we're not sure how long he will hold on, with damaged kidneys)

Animals are people too... it is so hard to let them go. *big hugs* I know you'll do the most compassionate thing, even if it is hard.

I'm so sorry. :(

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

I sure wish you the very best... *warm feathery hugs of gratitude....*
Keep an eye out for fatigue... kitty had been diabetic for 3 or4 years, but his kidneys we strong every time he was tested... until a few months ago. The vet said it was starting to show *slight* elevation in ketones, and we had no idea how long that would mean until it was considered bad. In kitty's case it was a few months... but maybe it's different for different critters.

[birdsput.livejournal.com]

some people understand this and lots of others don't - an animal, a pet.. becomes a member of the family, and as such, they are valued just as much as anyone else. They become like your children, and you devote time, money.. everything to them without question, because there is no question in love. When I lost Pirch, I truly felt like I lost a child. I STILL grieve for him, and it's almost a year since he was gone.

Because your kitty is 'just a cat' makes no differnce at all... pets in the family and the bond with them is something without words..
especially when they've been around for as long as your kitty has. you feel like saying to them, "you can't leave!! you belong here, this is where you've always been!" changes like that are always hard. .. but also equally hard to watch them suffer, and feel so helpless..
but I'm sure God will watch over your kitty, C. *soft smile* he'll be in heaven and have no more pain and everything will be perfect. we'll just miss him, here.. and pray that he knows how much we love him, and how much we miss him, and how hard we tried to make him happy..
sometimes, it's all you can do. *hugs*

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

thank you so very much... *hughuggles...*
I still picture Pirch with you... I think in some way this is how love survives... a connection that is never fully broken...

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

*thanks you so very much.. and hugz in return*..

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

The tribute and thoughts you've expressed for your pets, has defintely been a strengthening and emapthetic force for me... thank you.... *huggles warm*

[archteryx.livejournal.com]

You'll be in my prayers, C, as well as the poor kitty. Hope his passing, if and when it comes, is a painless one.

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

It was, friend 'teryx..
There was another cat I was close to, ten years ago.. it was such an unusual cat... would lick my face for minutes on end, then bury its head under my arm and go to sleep. Then later I'd wake up and find a piece of yarn at my feet, perhaps a thank you for the snuggle ^v^ .
She didn't get a fair break. She caught a terrible feline-specific disease at the vet (where we used to go), and turned into nearly the same energy-gone, helpless, lost-in-a-fog waif that this cat became over the last week, from inability to eat (constant nausea).

We wanted *so* bad to give him another chance yesterday.. as many as we possibly could actually.. and so I slipped him some chicken breast strips (which he used to love), and he wolfed a few down right there in the vet's office. But as he had been doing for a few days, he stopped after a few bites, and just sat there. We were hoping this might be a turnaroud opportunity, as he had bounced back so many times... so we had them keep him another night and see if he would. (It's also about 80 degrees in our house at night, hasn't been getting lower since this heat wave.)

But when we got to the vet's office today, sure enough, he'd vomited shortly after eating that, and several times overnight, as the last few nights. -_-
He was down to about 5 lbs now (from 14), and clearly suffering.
He was set free at 4 p.m. today.

With my previous kitty (the face-licky one), it was the first time I had to make that decision, and I wasn't present when kitty left. With this one, I stayed and kept my hands caressing him....
I'd been afraid before that there would be some sort of horrific transition that would mar my psyche permanently... but wow... it was about the most peaceful, unaware transition imagineable. Nothing whatsoever to indicate the moment of passage. I'm so glad the relief came for him with such calm.

I think part of the reason I was worried was that we did have a kitty long ago that got a blockage, and we had to rush him to emergency surgery in the middle of the night... and the doc gave him something that turned all his muscles to mush instantly, so he could relieve the blockage. I'll never forget seeing that... but he did save him. Still, I thought somehow this would naturally be worse... but thank goodness.. the doorway to release from his misery came with ultimate peace.

*hugs*

[tcreynolds]

You've got my condolences. :(

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

thank you my friend...
I'll always remember your pup as being one of the most cheery little critters in existence... and I only knew the lil woofster a fraction of the time you did.

[secret-wolver.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. I wish I could be there for you.

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

Thank you much, me friend...
There are fewer tears lately.. but it took a while getting here.. and to keep the good memories alive, always..

[justblieve.livejournal.com]

*hugstight*

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

*snugs very warmly in appreciation.....*

[auryanne.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry, I hope your kitty's way is peaceful.

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

thank you fluffy.. as I wrote about above a few moments ago, it seemed to be very much so.
*hughugs..*

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much, buddy.. you're more inspiring (to so many) than you know

[rum-pirate-sc.livejournal.com]

*frowns and hugs the Eagle one*

I'm sorry sweety.. I know what it's like to lose a kitty.. it's the hardest thing ever.

Swear to the gods, felines knew they used to be worshipped as gods, and still are. Those who own cats, love them almost so completely.. when something hurts theyire kitty, they are angry an seek vengence towards what laide harm to their feline. And when we lose one... it's as devistating as loseing a cherrished family member...

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

*wingpats n hugz... and much thanks, for the philosophical tribute to those felines we appreciate as part of our lives...*

[altonwings.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Do what you need to do for the cat. He'll understand, because all he ever wanted was your love and affection. When my cat fell asleep on my lap for the last time, I knew she was finally getting the rest she deserved in the comfort of the one person she trusted.

Good luck, my friend. Just be there for him, and he will understand.

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

I wanted to let you know I remembered you too, about an hour ago (on the way to getting a worthy kitty casket), and made it the first edit here above when I got home. I was hoping I'd be able to get to it before you read. The presentation of your kitty memories were very endearing, but I knew I'd forget some initially, through veil of mist, as I was getting up every few sentences just to reset and pull up my bootstraps to type some more.

[telbert.livejournal.com]

I am sorry that this is happening, C =0( We have strong bonds to the animals in our family, too. We've lost several along the way, and I know how it feels. I'll keep good thoughts for all of you, and I know that whatever happens, you'll be blessed for caring as much and as well for your cat.

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

It was difficult, me friend... but time does seem to heal..
Thanks for the caring phone call.. and I hope things are going well for you and yours... *wingpatpats*

[level-head.livejournal.com]

Best wishes to all, and condolences, peace and comfort to you and yours, my friend.

May I gently suggest that you seek another companion to your family straightaway? A new member may help your kitty to heal -- or your family.

===|==============/ Level Head

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

We've seriously thought about that on many occasions.. and chances are very good it will happen :>
Probably not in the straightaway though... we may explore getting mom on at least one trip perhaps, before taking on another, albeit adorable, companion for her.
Thanks for your caring thoughts... *wingshakes your dragon paw*

[catswhisker-tg.livejournal.com]

almost impossible not to feel sad about losing a beloved one -_-

but unfortunately *is* impossible to avoid completely...

try not to let him suffer - if it really is his time let him go with
dignity. Love never dies.

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

That is so true, my friend... Thank You.. *coogles and HUGS*

[ekevoo.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about this... I really hope things settle in a way your cat won't hurt.

Unfortunately I could be included in your list too. But life goes on, and theirs are almost always shorter than ours... Rest assured he took all of the time he could spend among you and yours. :)

*hugs* ^^

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much... Your sentiments are heartfelt, and greatly appreciated..
It's getting a little better... now about ten days later... but we still say "g'bye kitty" when we go to dinner, and I still find mom hiding in some tears in her room, once in a while... -_-
She's thinking of adopting some needy kitties soon...

[filia-seal.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear about your kitty. But 19 is a good long life for a cat. You gave him a good home. *hug*

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

I sure hope, and I think he did know it...
I still can see him just staring at me.. trying to say something.

Thank yoooo.... *hughugs warmly unto you..*

[amoux.livejournal.com]

I don't have much time to read and comment, but I did at least want to say that I'm really, really sorry, and I wish you and your kitty both the best possible.... :/

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

that's awright m'dear.. I unnerstand, and I really appreciate your thoughts and wishes.... *hughugz*...

:(

[loveyouenola.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry that this time is upon you. Yeah, it's one everyone who lets a pet into their hearts has to face... But remember - if the decision is the final one, every shred of pain and sorrow you feel is a testament to the care and love you've shared over the last 19 years.

And that was a good life to lead.

*TB Hugs*

[c-eagle.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much, buddy..
A positive outlook is the best way to preserve a memory.. so very true.
*wing hugs with gratitude*