Elements of Romance . . .

I want to start by giving a thanks to the many friends and individuals who take the time and give the effort to post their thoughts and ruminations in these journals. They are a constant inspiration to so very many. Nothing else online really compares to the candid, caring contemplations, that bring us so much closer to understanding each other and ourselves, in so many ways, and I want to thank you all for your gifts, and welcoming us to share them with you.

This entry is to share some of my personal experiences, in hopes of giving inspiration to some also, especially those who have questions about togetherness, relationships, and love. I don't know every corner of the subject for sure, but I can share what I have seen.

Love is a timeless, ever-mystifying thing, yet ever-intriguing. I have some friends who are hopeful, and some who are doubtful of it. One even tells me that he thinks it doesn't exist anywhere except storybooks, and that it is nothing more than some primitive drive that even causes us to give it a name. Sometimes I wonder how much he might be right.
But I know he is less right than he is wrong about love.. for I have seen it. Some might indeed be trapped in shallow beliefs about love, going through motions, never opening to its fullest potential. Yes, may be rare to become so strong and deep, but still it can be so much more than mere lust, as this friend fears it to be.. for it really can stir every romantic inclination one can imagine, and be just as beautiful.
There once was a time I thought I'd be married by age 29 :) When this didn't happen, I began to despair somewhat, and began to look even more fervently. Since I didn't really date all that often, I tried to pick up the pace a bit. I met some really nice people too, but most were a nice chat, just seeing if we felt right for more. A nice chat didn't solve this marriage problem though, so I still was feeling rather alone. All my life, it seemed like music was the only loving thing.. a good song.. eyes closed.. and just dreaming.
Then, not too much later, a most wondrous thing happened.. a spark began to glow one night, in the eyes of my childhood sweetheart. We had been friends since I was about 7 years old, but we had never gotten to date, even in high school, since she always seemed to have something else to do.. but now, the magic had begun.
So very beautiful... it truly does lift you off your toes. So many wonderful dreams, now real... so many extraordinary journeys together... looking into each other's eyes... seeing each other in a whole new light... minds and hearts, meeting, knowing, loving...
I know that romance can become real, and live.. we had so many magical experiences to prove it..
Once we ran through fields of tall grass, just basking in the nature and togetherness.. bonding.. blissful.. as if in a picture postcard...
Once she took me to a special beach, au naturale, where we just held each other until the day became dusk, and we became warmer than the sun..
Once we embraced on the highest building we could find, letting the wind wrap us as stars grew brighter above..
Once we decided to take a midnight walk on a sandy beach, and we got caught in a warm tropical rain, ..so we found shelter underneath a palm tree, with only the moon and tiki torches revealing us to the night, so sweet, in each other's arms...
And that first time, when I turned around and found a trail of candles leading me to her, caring and caressing, for the very first time..

I knew it wasn't just a storybook then.

I know this beauty can last too, for I saw it in my grandparent's lives. Alas, it was not to be in this one for me.. for the one thing that I could never conquer, was her doubt that all this beauty was real, and could indeed last.

That is why I tell all my friend's who will hear, to release doubt, and trust the words of your mate more than the words that might haunt one's mind, and believe. For if we can't believe, then it truly does become just going through the motions, and worthless, without true love to support, sustain and endure.

I have learned a few things here and there with each relationship too. Love and relationship are separate; one is natural, one is work. The relationship is necessary though, to let love work within the boundaries and restrictions of real life. It can be a good kind of work though, when there is mutual respect and devotion. I have also learned that people need to learn their best matches, and/or work to be better matches, sincerely, and that my best match is someone who can smile with just a thought of their mate, no matter what, because their wisdom of *love* knows that it transcends all time and space, and they do not forget the legacy that has built their love.
I've also learned that friends are life's greatest human gift. This does a world of good to relieve feelings of emptiness, because I've learned that just having a mate isn't the goal, but to have a friend is. Thus, if one of those friend's just turns out to become that wonderful mate, that is an added blessing.. but entering into a friendship is a blessing in itself.
It is also important to realize, that it is not as bad to be lonely and alone, than it is to be alone and feeling helpless.. with someone who isn't the one.

So I truly want my friends to know, don't be afraid of an occasional teardrop. It just lets you know that you haven't lost your heart and soul. Love *can* be real..
I am slowly but surely making a welcome place for it in my life again, for I know it can be real, even though the hard times or a tough experience can make it seem as if it doesn't exist.. for a while..
But love does live on.
I feel it through my friends.

Keep believing, all of you.. and the magic will continue to become stronger and stronger.. so that love can find all of those who are thus connected, in this belief and trust.. that it is truly real.

Today's Internet, and theory of RP

These are just a few thoughts and observations on the what seems to have been happening over the last couple years or so, to internet role-play, due to factors and continuous development of computers and internet clients.
I remember way back in the late 90s, when I got my first few invites to join ICQ. I usually answered, "but I can already chat with friends in really great magical environments, on Multi-User Chat Kingdoms" (mucks). So, I didn't really dive into ICQ.
But I knew many others were, and I had a suspicion that soon, this new form of chat would take some toll on mucks. Not that it is the only reason it is harder to get into a good role-play any more.. there are certainly many factors, and some have been there for a long time, although they seem to be getting worse these days.. multitasking being the biggest problem.
Trouble is, ICQ is really suited well to multitasking, as it is easy to have a window open for casual messages every so often. That can be ideal sometimes, since that doesn't conflict with work or school.
And so there's the rub; perhaps the social environment is changing too.. it isn't just ICQ alone that has beckoned the world into other windows. There's AIM, MSNmessaging, Yahoomessaging, mp3s, gaming, journals and blogs, boards, irc, paltalk, powwow, surfing, usenet, email, multimucking/mudding/mushing, not to mention a myriad of RL tasks and distractions.. it's no wonder that it can be hard to find a good group for RP.
RolePlay is also a creative challenge, which admittedly, people might not want to engage in every single time they just want to chat, or cut loose and dive into prefab game.
Still, some of my most wonderful memories online have been just climbing into character, and joining in with friends for an adventure. Years ago, one of the very best places for that was a place called Brazilian Dreams.
Having a specific time set for RP is a great help for success too; we used to meet every Friday evening to explore the jungles of South America, and even when we just kicked back and yacked, we had a great time; lions, otters, parrots, foxes, and other critters, all getting together, attentive and devoted to just one window, and having a splendid experience with one another.
And yet, these days, so few people seem to realize that, unless you spend your time devoted to one window, you don't get the same intense reward as when you are focused and involved. Getting responses every ten minutes or more is fine for AIM or ICQ, but when the wheels are rolling on a good muck chat or RP, it really feels like a stall if that happens.
Each has a place, for sure. We can't always be deeply involved in RP, and casual messages are perfect for those times. What has become troublesome is, that the lines between the two have become gray, and many no longer seem to use the different mediums for their different purposes any more. So mucks usually feel idle, or ICQ can get to be too overtasking.
In this new world with so many great things to do, it is all the more difficult then for smaller mucks to do well. They seem to require an independently wealthy wiz presence, who can be there as a driving force nearly all the time, or be one of the very few large mucks whose sheer numbers put them past the threshold for survival.
It's a difficult question, as to where it will go from here. Some say that the lack of graphics and glitz will continue to nudge mu*ing further into obscurity, as more and more things encroach to take their place. Others contend that older text-based technologies will continue to have a place. The success of Linux does seem to suggest that using text to interact and operate with systems can be embraced and endure, and maybe that can be an analogy for the survival of mu*ing.
It will also take other factors to keep it interesting and worthwhile however, and to bring new generations into the medium.. and that involves keeping a clarity between times when we know we can't avoid distraction (when icq and the like works well), and when we need to be devoted to our fellow mu*ers, and focused. Staying on track in each situation, can bring the most satisfying experiences.
Easy enough to say.. but can the new internet generations enjoy the intensity that we once knew just a few years back..? Or do they even want to? That is a question that only time can really answer.
Wishing you the best in your online, and RL experiences, your friend, C Eagle. :>